Do not pay your bills at 11pm ever again. Enivatabley you will pay a $200 bill from an account that has no money. Then you have to call the service rep (at 6am becuase you live in PST and your bank is in CST), beg for the overdraft fee back and then figure out a way to pay said bill. BLAH!!
PS- Why the *uck is it snowing?!?!!? I have no working windshield wipers. I thought we had an agreement Universe, no rain or snow until next October. Sigh.
The online dating continues and I thought I would help out the male gender by suggesting some "rules" that should be followed. This will ultimately get you more dates. Believe me. I am usually not wrong about this stuff.
1. Spell check your profile.
2. Completely spell all the words in you profile.
3. Be honest. If you just want to hook up, say that.
4. Your pictures tell sooooo much about you. Select carefully. See below.
5. Do not include pictures with a half picture of yourself. We know the other half was probably you ex. The more "half picture" the less interested we will be.
6. Do not include pictures of you and your best friend, with the ex scribbled out. Or having fangs, demon tail, breathing fire, etc.
7. Pictures of you and your car, bike, dog, mom are acceptable.
8. No pictures of you with your cell phone in front of a mirror. We know you have at least one friend that can take a picture of you.
9. Pictures of you without your shirt on are acceptable. Provided that you are a) Hiking b) Sufing c) Standing on the beach wishing you knew how to surf. In no other location is sans shirt accpetable. It looks cheesy and staged.
10. Do not include any of the other following items in your pictures. Especially in combination. a) beer bottles, cans or shots 2) weapons 3) firearms, this also includes gun racks 4) cross dressing 5) you drunk 6) wife beaters 7) half dressed women 8) you doing a keg stand 9) you being arrested 10) mooning
Ok, so I probably just came off as shallow and bitchy. Possibly. However, in my experience after a while all of the profiles start to sound the same. "I'm a regualr guy...blah...blah...blah" And there are some bars (not the kind you drink in) that need to be met. I really do think that the pictures are the way to go. And the e-mails. More than one sentence is manditory and open ended questions a plus.
Oh, and as a homage to the guy I wingmaned for on St. Patrick's Day. Save the penis showing for the second date.
Dear Sallie Mae,
I now realize that I have sold my soul to you. I owe you A LOT of money. I also realize that I am several months behind on payments. I do not make A LOT of money. Usually, things like food and gas win out over pay you all back. Sorry. However.....
THIS DELIQUIENT PAYMENT DOES NOT GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO CALL ME SIX (YES, SIX!!!) TIMES IN ONE DAY TO TELL ME THAT BASICLY I'M YOUR BITCH. THEN WHEN I TRY TO CALL AND MAKE A PAYMENT YOU CHARGE ME A "SERVICE FEE" TO TAKE MY MONEY OVER THE PHONE!!!! WTF?!!!?!!?!?
You will get your money when I have it to give to you.
Thank You,
Greenaprils
PS-In attempt not to lose my cool (again) at SM, I brain stormed some good things going on in my life. I forgot to mention that Dr. Handsome (Hot Chriopractor) is single again. It won't pay thi bills, but it helped a little. Mmmmmm....Sexy educated jewish men.......sigh
Funny, I just read my last entry and I have no idea who I would cast as Mr. Big. Shit, I turn 30 and my memory starts to go. I thought that I might have a good 2-3 years before this happened.
Well, life is pretty much the same. I moved (again), started working out (again) and find myself mostly single (again).
Blog poll: Is it acceptable for a person that you are dating to share intimate details about what you two do in bed together in mixed company? If yes, to what degree may this "sharing" be acceptable? If no, how the heck do you bring it up in conversation that they fucked up?
