One Step Forward Two Steps Back (Part 4)

Saturday, June 11, 2005

I finally moved into my new place. I'm feeling better about it. Now the problem is all the crap I own. Finding a new place for it, throwing stuff out, etc. I don't have the energy. And there is never enough space for my books.

Speaking of energy, I am going to have to feng sui on this room. Horrible florescence lighting, white walls, the carpet that will hide any stain ( I guess that's a good thing), in general ick.

I did purchace a beautiful painting at a thrift shop this week. There is some hope yet.

Maybe this a chance to downsize. Like my bed. King to a twin. It's not pretty.

Ok now fro the bitch section. I was at the house moving some last things out and my business manager called. He wanted to know why there was still food in the fridge. "Um, to keep it cold" Then he asks me if it's my food. So, here's the thing. The stuff in the fridge I could barely classify as food. Hungry Man dinners, Eggos, Cocktail Sauce, Rolls in a Can, you get the picture. I'm actually offended that he thought this was my food. Blechk. "No, Roger it's not my food." Then he asks me if I could help them out and clean out the food. This is steathly followed by "I'd do it myself , but I'm in San Fran" and "We'd (The School), really like to get our $---- (Enter Large sum of money here) security deposit back". So, you want me to help you out of the kindness of my heart, but if I don't and you don't get your money back you'll make me feel like it is all my fault. Yet there is NOTHING in this for me. I'm convinced that thoes "business" conferences managers go to have titles like "Blackmail 101", "How Passive Agression Can Work for YOU!" and "Getting the Dirty Work Done: Five Easy Steps to Painless and Effective Guilt Trips". All you Cubies out there would agree with me.
So, just to avoid any other to do list from people who aren't my boss. I told him it "was taken care of" and got the hell off the phone. %^$*-ER!
There is an interesting lesson in all of this. Standing up for yourself. I've never been good at it. I've been a psycholgical and emotional door mat for every kind of personal and professional relationship. I think I'm getting better. I hope. I've never been this angry. Now, what to do with it?