All I Want

Thursday, July 28, 2005

I have less than a week still at my real job, then a month of vacation. I like my fake job better. At least I feel accomplished after a day of shoveling shit. I have something to show for it. Even if they crap in thier stalls right after you finish. Horses are easier than humans. You can quote me on that.

I will admit that the hardent person/human to deal with is yourself. Today, I'm fighting off self-hatred with a sword of excapeism. Curled up at my boyfriend's sonic wall free computer in his bathrobe I have advoided real life for a couple more hours.

As an excerise to inocculate some normalcy in the issues swimming in my head, I have created a list. An "All I Want", Joni Mitchell is one of the greatest songwrites ever inspired, list.

All I Want is....
My Mom to have a conversation with me and only me on the phone
My sister's broken heart to heal
My dog to learn how to play dead
To hug my little brother
To shop at grocery store where I never have to read the labels
My stomach/head/heart to stop hurting
To be curled up with my man in bed for 3 days straight
Tahoe to have an array of take out/delivery places
To see my ex and it not be werid
Fishy to stop having to deal with stupid people
My employer to stop hiring stupid people
Have energy to live my life
To stop surviving
To spend all day reading
To feel like I have a choice