Sunday, April 20, 2008
The online dating continues and I thought I would help out the male gender by suggesting some "rules" that should be followed. This will ultimately get you more dates. Believe me. I am usually not wrong about this stuff.
1. Spell check your profile.
2. Completely spell all the words in you profile.
3. Be honest. If you just want to hook up, say that.
4. Your pictures tell sooooo much about you. Select carefully. See below.
5. Do not include pictures with a half picture of yourself. We know the other half was probably you ex. The more "half picture" the less interested we will be.
6. Do not include pictures of you and your best friend, with the ex scribbled out. Or having fangs, demon tail, breathing fire, etc.
7. Pictures of you and your car, bike, dog, mom are acceptable.
8. No pictures of you with your cell phone in front of a mirror. We know you have at least one friend that can take a picture of you.
9. Pictures of you without your shirt on are acceptable. Provided that you are a) Hiking b) Sufing c) Standing on the beach wishing you knew how to surf. In no other location is sans shirt accpetable. It looks cheesy and staged.
10. Do not include any of the other following items in your pictures. Especially in combination. a) beer bottles, cans or shots 2) weapons 3) firearms, this also includes gun racks 4) cross dressing 5) you drunk 6) wife beaters 7) half dressed women 8) you doing a keg stand 9) you being arrested 10) mooning
Ok, so I probably just came off as shallow and bitchy. Possibly. However, in my experience after a while all of the profiles start to sound the same. "I'm a regualr guy...blah...blah...blah" And there are some bars (not the kind you drink in) that need to be met. I really do think that the pictures are the way to go. And the e-mails. More than one sentence is manditory and open ended questions a plus.
Oh, and as a homage to the guy I wingmaned for on St. Patrick's Day. Save the penis showing for the second date.
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