1. Massage clients. It's no longer about the money. I cannot (CANNOT!) sit in front of a computer for eight hours a day. I'd rather shovel horse shit.
2. SNOW!!!!! I want to SKI!!! I have gas money, skis and my pass. Well, clothes too. All I need is the magic white stuff!! Please powder gods and goddeses (snow) shower down upon us and bless these humble mortals with freedom, speed and beauty.
I've been sitting at a desk. My index finger now has a stress injury from all my internet surfing. Sunday's are pretty slow around here. I caught up on some shopping and stalking (see below).
The thing is that I'm on the verge of complete boredom. The massaging hasn't picked up yet and I have no money. I recieved charity quinoa (keen-wa) from my roomate. You know you are a hippie when your hungry, po' and as a hand out you get an un-pronouncealbe grain to live off for the next week.
I did carpe diem and having little or no food yesterday, did a gall bladder cleanse. Ick, right? Exactly. Let's just say the results were very interesting and not uncommon in the Land of Hydrogenated Fatty Foods. Save your gall bladder from the clutches of the evil surgeon and raise your glass of olive oil and lemon juice!!!!
So here are some new pictures of me. Ok, no photos just yet. Yahoo! isn't working. Blar.
Laura and I went to see Bob Schneider on Wednesday. I was f&*%($*g awesome. Just a little crush. He cut his hair, too. Still hot.
My week hit a low on Thursday. Never use Sallie Mae, they fucked me over, big time. I need a Bob Fix.
A song titled: "All I want for Christmas is my Methadone". How can you go wrong?
I collected rocks today. Here....
The waves were huge and so beautiful. I didn't take this picture, but it's pretty close. Maybe a bit more rain, soggier shoes. I have a pretty good collection to start my Hot Stone Massage collection. I had a great day. Hopefully, the first of many to come.
I am struggling my way though this Hot Stone Intensive. Again and again my thoughts drift to one fear: I will be going back to Lake Tahoe. I will have to drive a car again. Shop at Safeway. See a television. Not loking forward to all the stress and distractions. I like my day simple. I like my food simple. I like my job simple. I like my life simple.
I also know that I can't hide forever. I had a place outside this world and it's still there for me. I just hope I'll make it through the re-entry phase.
I wish I could shut my brain off.
I have experienced the full rage of emotions these past few weeks. Even ones that I didn't think existed (i.e. "I wish she would stop poking my aura, it annoying the f**k out of me." and "I guess the Ruben sandwhich was o.k."). Right now the meter is pensive with a slight chance of anti-social behavoir.
Good news is I've finally gotten my shit together and went back to school. Massage school. My nickname in college wasn't "Magic Fingers" for nothing and is possibly another post all together, but I digress. I've just finished my intensive and started a week of Hot Stone training. I plan on getting "stoned" everyday this week.
Puns are what happen when you live on a commune (with out the pedaphile, werid religion/uniforms). I think sustainable living community might be a better description. I'm consistently enterianed. I have also discovered:
You can leave you stash out and no one will steal it. It will probably be truned to the lost and found with a announcement made at dinner for lost/found stash.
Shower/Bathing are optional yet it's not as bad as imagined.
You share a phone with 70 other people and always get you messages. It may be 3 days later, but a much better track record than your own family.
Clothing optional sauna/jacuzzi=Heaven
Sponatenous singing, humming and hugging. Sometimes even in the sauna/jacuzzi!!
You can have a past life and people are actually interested.
You never watch TV and don't miss it.
Ice Cream and Chocolate are delicacies (sp?).
For fun: you get high, eat a ton of sugar and dance off your sugar high to 12:30am.
Bedtime is usually 9pm.
You meet amazing people that will change you life.
You don't have to wear a bra ever again!!
The real world just sounds exausting.
I pulled this from a Myspace posting.
Type "(Your Name) needs" into Google and be amused at what is returned.
Here's what I got:
Kim needs to take off the gloves (....ummmm sure...)
I was hoping for something I actually needed like money, a new job, but no.
I have GLOVES!!
PS-I looked for a glove picture but ended up searching for "Kim needs" in Google images. I ended up looking at baby seal being clubbed to death. I think I'm going to be sick.
PPS- This ball glove pic came from The Sandalady. The sweet old lady fixing baseball glove almost made up for the seal clubbing trauma. (Shiver)
Two well educated people (myself and my current crush) did not reconize this word. So, I thought it worthy to showcase it in "Word of the Day":
phenomenology
noun
1. the study of phenomena.
2. the system of Husserl and his followers stressing the description of phenomena.
or
noun
1. A philosophy or method of inquiry based on the premise that reality consists of objects and events as they are perceived or understood in human consciousness and not of anything independent of human consciousness.
2. A movement based on this, originated about 1905 by Edmund Husserl.
I will admit the idea that the only consciousness we percieve is the one we create as humans, is a litte deep for 9:00am, but it's fun to say fi-nom-uh-nol-uh-jee.
Well mostly....
My hours at the Evil Snack Bar have been limited to three, eight hour shifts. I slept in this morning and yesterday morning too. I might even get to sleep in tomorrow. 9am is considered sleeping in. I'm wondering if my AARP card will arrive in the mail soon. NO wait I live in Truckee, I actually won't be getting that until my 75th birthday.
I missed my dreams. My fucked up Kubrick on LSD dreams. I love my dreams. It's like going to the movies, but better. No screaming children, not soggy popcorn, no commericals for real estate, no shelling out $12.95 for two hour of whoknowswhat. Ahhhh, dreams.
Went on a hike with my sister, too. It was awesome. Posting pics soon.
I wouldn't admit this outside Blogland, but I spend a lot of time on the internet at work. I don't know if this is OK or not. I do my actual work, I guess I have a lot of down time. I struggle with the guilt (Out, out damn guilt!!!) everyday.
A few new favorites I wanted to share:
RESCUE ME
I've never been interested in fire fighting, firefighters maybe:-), but there is something about this show that makes me watch every week. Surprise of the week: My sster contemplated being a volunteer firefighters. I'm still chewing on that.
PAWEL JONCA
The Seed, 2003
No clue where I found this guy. I find him inspiring with his combination of detail and humor. Beautiful, beautiful images.
DEVA PREMAL
accidentally discovered her 'dakshina' album. This woman has an truly amazing, pure and healing voice. Move over Enya.
NATALIE DEE
I know I've already featured Natalie in "Borgasm", but this woman is f^$&#*@ hilarious. Check out her blog for some good reading and a picture of Tom Cruise as a woman.
I read this "story" today on The Onion website. It's pretty dark , but hella funny.
Teen Drowns Right In Middle Of Grief Counselor's First Date In Two Years
August 11, 2006
ANKENY, IA—In a turn of events local grief counselor Maggie Hedrick described Tuesday as "typical" and "[her] life in a nutshell," the 32-year-old’s first date since entering her 30s ended abruptly Sunday when the lifeless body of Washburn High School sophomore David Schiller was found in nearby Big Creek Lake.
Enlarge ImageGrief Counselor
"The waiting is the hardest part," says Hedrick. "At least David's parents don't have to go through that."
Schiller, who could literally have chosen any other day in the last two years to achieve a reported blood-alcohol level of .22, fall out of his canoe, and ingest three gallons of water, opted to drown on the one evening Hedrick had plans to meet and have dinner with an actual single male.
"Why is it no one ever jumps off a building or dies in a car crash when I’m stuck playing solitaire at home?" Hedrick said. "I pulled weeds from my garden all day Saturday. Where were all the drownings of teenaged boys with their whole lives still ahead of them then?"
While Hedrick acknowledged that no one is ever prepared for a tragic loss of the magnitude of Schiller’s death, she said she should have nonetheless seen it coming, given her personal luck. "Helping family members through the grieving process is never easy," Hedrick said. "But it’s especially heartbreaking when you have to ditch a handsome guy who also happens to like early-20th-century architecture."
Teen Drowns Teen R
Schiller
Emergency rescue teams, working with what Hedrick called "speed and efficiency on a level I’d never before seen from them, of course," recovered Schiller’s body less than 40 minutes after Hedrick and substitute teacher Jeff Lindenbaum, 30, met for dinner at a local seafood restaurant. Approximately 15 minutes later, Hedrick received a call from Ankeny police summoning her to the scene of the accident, as if her immediate presence would somehow bring Schiller’s bloated, waterlogged corpse back to life.
A report issued Monday by the Polk County Coroner’s Office put Schiller’s time of death somewhere between the moment Lindenbaum arrived at Hedrick’s residence with a bouquet of fresh flowers at 6:34 p.m. and the very instant both realized that the other also had wishes to someday raise a family at 6:58 p.m.
"I don’t want to sound insensitive, but David’s parents will have the rest of their lives to mourn the death of their only son," said Hedrick, who claimed to have a "pretty good idea" how Howard and Janet Schiller felt when they heard the news. "Initial denial of a tragedy is a natural and understandable human impulse. What’s another two or three hours, in the grand scheme of things?"
"Don’t get me wrong, it would’ve been a whole different situation had the date been going badly. In fact, I would have probably welcomed Schiller’s death if that had been the case," Hedrick added. "But Jeff and I were really hitting it off."
Although Lindenbaum left a message on Hedrick’s voice mail late Sunday night, he has not called again since, leading Hedrick to fear that a rare opportunity for a serious relationship may have been "totally blown."
"David’s death has affected not only those who knew him, but also those who had never even met him," Hedrick said. "Not even once."
"I don’t know exactly how Howard and Janet are handling this, as I’ve been too busy wondering if Jeff will ever call me again to actually pay attention, but I imagine they must feel responsible on some level," continued Hedrick. "While it’s just a hypothesis, there’s a possibility that if both parents had paid more attention to their son, I would be getting laid right now."
"What a tragic waste of a night," she added.
I am always amused when I read back over my blog/journal entries. Always. It gives me self-esteem a little boost, too. On paper I'm well thought out, intelectual and humouros. I've had a hard time feeling like that in real life, so it's good to know I haven't lost it somewhere. Highlights of the past round include:
Completely forgettiing that my nipple being bitten by a horse. See May 2005, I didn't make it up, promise.
Laughing at the agony I felt breaking up with Aidan and my list after list of resoning. I think I might be over it and from now on naked time is a must.
Honest to Goddess truth: I like reading the "About You" Surveys, but I despise filling them out. I think I may have once sometime during college? (Hahaha...That's an excellent answer to any question you don't want to really divulge.) Thatgirl had recently posted this and I actually feel compelled to fill it out, enjoy!!
A) Four jobs I have had in my life
1. Receptionist at a Yoga Studio
2. Director of a Girl Scout Camp
3. Medical Assistant at a Choice Clinic and Planned Parenthood
4. Glorified Baby sitter (i.e. subsitute teacher, outdoor rec manager, dorm parent)
B) Four movies you would watch over and over that no one would ever guess:
1. Babe
2. L.A. Story
3. Waynes World 1 and 2
4. Napoenln Dynamite
C) Four places you have lived:
1. Michigan (Holly, East Lanising and Clarkston)
2. Illinois (Chicago)
3. Texas (Austin, Dallas)
4. California (Lake Tahoe-ish)
D) Four TV shows you love to watch:
1. Coupling
2. Girlfriends
3. Friends
4. Arrested Develpoment
E) Four places you have been on vacation:
1. Cozumel (Eat, Sleep, Lay on Beach Topless)
2. Rome (Amazing), Paris (Hot), London (Old Stuff Overload)
3. Yellowstone, Big Bend, Adarondacks, Gila, Tahoe
4. Washington, D.C. (Hands down the worst family vaca. ever)
F) Four websites you visit daily:
1. Yahoo
2. Myspace
3. IBM Texas Employees Federal Credit Union
4. Nevada County Library
G) Four of my favorite foods:
1. Gluten-Free: cake, doughnuts, pies, cookies, pasta (I have Celiac Disease)
2. Salmon with steamed veggies and rice
3. Any type of berry
4. Ice Cream (organic of course)
H) Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Having amazing sex
2. Swimming
3. Dancing in my living room
4. Hiking with my dog
I) Favorite Sports:
1. Hockey (To watch)
2. Skiing (In winter)
3. Hoseback Riding/Rock Climbing (In Summer)
4. Hide and Seek, Sardines and Red Rover (Because they never get old)
I don't know where J-Z is, so I made up some of my own.
J) Four place you've had sex besides your bedroom:
1. On the Beach
2. In the Media Room
3. At a Party
4. In a Shower
K) Four embarrasing moments:
1. Throwing up on the bus in 4th grade
2. Throwing up at my best friends 13th birthday party
3. Professional Bull Riders Competion (Reno, NV)
4. Temper Tantrum at Mammoth Ski Resort (Not pretty, but really funny. In my defense skiing with numb feet is impossible)
L) Four People you would like to meet:
1. My Soul Mate
2. Ani Di Franco
3. Dr. Alfred Kinsey
4. The First Woman President
M) Four things that make you feel like a kid again:
1. Dancing
2. Making that "squeaky" noise with your straw
3. Hanging out with my siblings
4. Camping
N) Four things you would like to do before you expire:
1. Pay off my school loans
2. Buy three houses
3. Live guilt free
4. Be a good person
O) Four personality traits you cannot stand:
1. People who are always the victim
2. Laziness
3. Any centric thinking
4. "I'm right your wrong" type of people
P) Four Personality Traist I admire about people:
1. Honesty
2. Courage: To do the right thing or to change themselves for the better
3. Kindness
4. Their ability to laugh at themselves
Q) Four pets you have had:
1. K.C. (dog)
2. Smugde (cat)
3. Fiore (dog)
4. Mixie (cat)
R) Four Pet Peeves:
1. Spitting
2. People who don't read signage
3. Bad Parenting
4. Messy Closets
S)Four things you look forward to this month (August):
1. Paying off my credit card bills
2. A weekend in Napa
3. Hanging out with my sister
4. Sleeping in and/or doing yoga
I only got to "S", my days of getting to know you/ice breakers are fading. Namaste.
Cleaning out the e-mails and found this one:
Scott,
I sent a mass e-mail to tell everyone this, but you
are special and get a personal e-mail. Hahaha. I
just didn't want you to be out of the loop. I moved
again. To California. Crazy huh? Been here about a
week. It's snowed 20+ inches. Fiore loves it. I love
it too. The job in Dallas wasn't for me. I can't
spend 10-12 hours in a kitchen and work 70 hours a
week. It's just not me. Let me know what is up in
your side of the country. Take care.
HUGS!
Keem
I feel like I need to justify recent actions, but only to myself. I have two jobs now. I work 80 hours a week now. 40 of them in a kitchen. The only excuse I can come up with is that Dallas is a hole and I was depressed. I feel better about myself, my life and my direction. I'm puzzled really. Something, so unhappy then is reaonable and exciting now. I never would have guessed.
I suscribe to the word of the day on my Yahoo! account. Yes, I am a word geek and proud of it!! I've know all the words of the day for the past seven years. Today I was suprised I had never heard this word, but I think its a great adjective.
The word of the day is:
phlegmatic
definition: (adjective) sluggish and unemotional in temperament.
I like it because it sounds a lot like phlem. Not that I like phlem. But the word itself is very good at describing itself. I'm picturing a nasty cold that is sluggish to leave your nose. A person with a goober green aura (ick). Someone or some thing with a negative cool factor. ie said person walks into room and the cool factor drops to a negative scale. Exapmles include my sisters old roomate and Hitler.
The J1 Polsih guys from work are having a party tonight. I can't wait. I was promised where would be dancing!
1-2, Cha cha cha!
i have a confession: I have been advoiding my blog. Actively advoiding. My coping mechanism is to intenalize my thought and feelings. I guess I've defaulted. I know the importantce to "venting" to blogland. I just suck at taking care of myself.
In the news, my parents turned fifty. They were insanely young when they had me (a mistake/blessing) at 22. My mom still says condom as a swear word. Divorce is also said as a swear word. Come to think of it, I don't think she's ever said "gay" either.
I threw them a birthday party. A suprise birthday party. I think my stomach deserves an award for the shit I put it through the last couple of months and espically the last week.
First, I lied waaaaayyyy toooo much to the 'rents to pull this thing off. Second, it was wayyyyyyy toooo easy to lie to them. I did make easy on myself, I kept it mostly real with a bit if tweaking here and there.
When you are a kid you think that you can get away with lying, but you suck at it because you are six. When you're an adult however, it's not hard to do, but the guilt, oh, the guilt. I felt really bad for my parents.
I'm sitting in the parking lot at Hobby Lobby, two blocks from my parents house. I'm talking to my dad. I'm supposedly in LA waiting for my plane. I felt like a superhero with three different identities. I don't think I could ever work for the CIA or even be an actress. I have a hard time figuring out who I am on a daily baisis. Playing a part would be no good.
The party went over very well. Both of my parent were suprised. It was exactly how I imagined it.
I'm so glad it's all over, but at the same time....I keep wondering:
What the hell do I do now?
I don't really have anything to stress about. Money is good. Bills are mostly paid. I have a place to sleep and food to eat.
What a long strange trip it's been....
Squint your eyes and look closer
I'm not between you and your ambition
I am a poster girl with no poster
I am thirty-two flavors and then some
and I'm beyond your peripheral vision
so you might want to turn your head
cause someday you're going to get hungry
and eat most of the words you just said
both my parents taught me about good will
and I have done well by their names
just the kindness I've lavished on strangers
is more than I can explain
still there's many who've turned out their porch lights
just so I would think they were not home
and hid in the dark of their windows
til I'd passed and left them alone
And god help you if you are an ugly girl
course too pretty is also your doom
cause everyone harbors a secret hatred
for the prettiest girl in the room
and god help you if you are a pheonix
and you dare to rise up from the ash
a thousand eyes will smolder with jealousy
while you are just flying back
I'm not trying to give my life meaning
by demeaning you
and I would like to state for the record
I did everything that I could do
I'm not saying that I'm a saint
I just don't want to live that way
no, I will never be a saint
but I will always say
Squint your eyes and look closer
I'm not between you and your ambition
I am a poster girl with no poster
I am thirty-two flavors and then some
and I'm beyond your peripheral vision
so you might want to turn your head
cause someday you might find you're starving
and eating all of the words you said
I found place. I feel a gillion times better. Everything else will fall into place. I'm pretty sure about that.
It's "Eye Candy" Wedsenday. Ok, that isn't offical, but I need distraction in my stressful state. Internet=Distraction.
My sister and I watched "Pride and Prejudice" the movie. Not the 6 tape A&E version. I have to say I missed him. I missed Colin Firth. So here he is.
I was hoping to find him in a kilt (Check SFH Blog), but then I realized that he's English not Scotish. So here are a couple more:
and click here to see the best ones.
